Too Long Gone

What I am thankful for:
1. I've started writing again.
2. My dog, Mr. Logan, who's love is unwavering.
3. I've started taking pictures again.

Ok, I'm back. Time to start writing again and expressing myself. I need to make the time for this, NO MATTER HOW TIRED I AM AT THE END OF THE DAY.

I can't wait to move back to Lakeland...going home will be nice...family will be nice...a new start with new faces and familiar places will be nice.  A fresh start...never underestimate the appeal of a fresh start!

For Gioia, On The Passing Of Her Father

What I am thankful for:

1. my mom's continued good health

2. the improving health of my cousin Rhonda, and my friends Doug and Brian

3. perspective...at last

Life is like an empty highway...leading somewhere...and at the same time, no where.

Our lives, intersecting, criss-crossing, passing each other, pedal to the metal...careening out of control...until death stops us in our treads.

My best friend Gioia's father passed away a few days ago...this is the first time I've been able to bring myself to write about it. It brings memories of my own father's death back in all too real a sensation. Daddy will be gone five years in June and yet it seems like yesterday. 

I wrote the following for Gioia...it's a little out there...but then again, so is she and that's what I love about her...but it is also from my heart...

His earthly daughter held the origami card in her hand. Affixed to the cover was a hand-folded crane...the symbol for longevity and within the card she knew were written feelings of love and support from her friend regarding her tragic loss, all poured out from his heart with ink onto the parchment.

She, in one graceful and elegant movement, touched the corner of the folded paper, turned it open and began to read...

He, with eyes closed tight, saw stars--golden and exploding, flying past him like white hot slender birds---an array and aurora of cool celestial beauty.
It was both familiar and foreign. New and yet, oh, so eternally old. The tighter he squinted, the faster he flew until, the stars disappeared and stardust was showering down upon his face and shoulders and hands...now, he was motionless. He opened his eyes, slowly...tentatively, and saw all those he loved around him, their eyes were full of questions and their smiles were wide and welcoming.
                                             
"Where were you this time?" they asked. "It seemed as if you were hardly gone at all."

His eyes smiled and he effected a broad knowing grin, remembering his loving daughter and the adventure from which he had just returned. He looked down at his hands, they were holding a hand-made card with an elegant white folded paper bird on the front. He knew within the card was written the wonderful story of the life from which he had just returned...all the love, both given and received...all within the folded pages of the card, and he knew that his daughter was there too, within the card...waiting for him to but open it and start the journey once again.

His mind whispered "Soon, Gioia, soon."

And with one graceful and elegant movement, he touched the corner of the folded paper, turned it open and began to read aloud for all to hear...

I'm Not Lazy I'm Just REALLY Busy

What I am thankful for:
1. my job at The Shack 
2. the fact that I've lost 12lbs
3. the fact that, despite it all, I am generally "happy" =)


Ok, I know I have not blogged since the Thanksgiving weekend BUT in my defense my work schedule has been ALL OVER THE PLACE...I get home late, go to bed, get up and go to work. It's not like I'm going to movies or going out and seeing friends. I haven't done that in ages anyway. No, I've become a drone...and I'm kinda diggin' it. 

My friend Wendy wanted me to apply for a job at Telemundo...and I did BUT then that sick feeling came to me in the pit of my stomach and I had an epiphany..."I don't want to do that again." I don't want to get back on that grist mill and have my pride, self-respect and self-confidence beaten down again. Why would I want to go back for more shit, I ask you? No, even though money is, and probably will continue to be tight, I think I am happiest right now just being a cog in the retail machine. I'm not emotionally ready to face that fast paced media dragon again...I've lost my sword with which I would slay it and I'm tired of trying to keep my head from being eaten by the monster. I think The Shack is where I need to be right now, and God knows that. That's why he sent it my way.


Today, I became a key holder and got the alarm codes. Damn responsibility lol. It is my blessing and my curse...I started out as just part time and, now, four weeks later I am full time, and a key holder...I open the store this coming Thursday for the first time.
I'm a little nervous...but not in a bad way...it's the good nervous...the kind I used to get right before I had a big shoot in the studio or a production session...the kind of nervous that keeps you on your toes. 


After work today I went and got the H1N1 Vacine...so far I feel fine...no bad reaction...tick tock...tick tock...waiting for the Swine Shoe to drop! lol


I've got to go in at 930am tomorrow morning for some blood work for the doctor. Since I've hit my deductible for the year I am doing my best to squeeze and milk my insurance for everything I can get.

Lazy Day

What I am thankful for:
1. a full freezer and fridge
2. beautiful weather
3. Logan, at my feet


Today was a lazy day. I watched History Channel and Nat Geo Channel all day.
I love that stuff. Right now, I've got a roast cooking in the Crock Pot. Can't wait until that is ready.

Short Shift

What I am thankful for:
1. the beautiful weather
2. great television
3. my family

I only worked three hours today (really short shift). OOOO...that's a whopping $21.00!!
I'm off Sunday and then work four hours Monday...$28.00 here I come!!
Retail hours are kinda all over the place...what am I saying...not "kinda"...they ARE all over the place.

 

Jobs

What I am thankful for:
1. my health
2. my mom
3. my optimism

I'm praying that God will provide...I applied for a job with Telemundo today...VP of Entertainment...the job has been open for 24 days...thing is, as with most jobs in TV, these things are filled already and the posting is just a formality. I am hopeful but not delusional.

 

Part Time to Full Time?

What I am thankful for:
1. second chances
2. my puppy
3. my home

It appears that the other "new" guy that just started at The Shack as a full time employee is not working out as they had hoped and they broached the subject of me going full time. I told them I would take it. 

Please, God, I need a better paying job...I need to be able to cover my mortgage.

Pain

What I am thankful for:
1. my dental health
2. my puppy
3. my home
4. God's love
5. Novacain



I went to the dentist this morning...I had two fillings...in adjoining teeth (and an almost $200 bill after my insurance deductible)...thank God for Novacain...it was basically painless but half of my face still feels numb.

I've been watching the A&E Miniseries "The Prisoner"...very trippy stuff...almost in a retro LSD-frenetic kind of way.

Quiet

What I am thankful for:
1. Patience (of my friends)

2. Love (of those around me)

3. Wisdom (of the ages)


I just finished watching the movie Big Eden for the umpteenth time...I just love that movie...the story...the scenery (Glacial Park in Washington State)...the music...it's a perfect little gay love story.

 

Monday Morning

Things I am thankful for:
1. the joy music brings me
2. friends from the past that think enough of me to look me up on Facebook
3. my job at "The Shack"

I went to see 2012 on Sunday with Brian. It had great special effects but the dialog in the third hour (it was one hour too long) was hackneyed and abysmal.
It is, though, a movie to be seen on the big screen.